Old and New Expectations for Fathers Page 2

Mariposa Men’s

Wellness Institute

Pregnancy Prevention

Old Expectations

•Prevention is a girl’s issue, and that’s where efforts should be targeted.
•Teenage boys will not listen to a “wait until marriage” message; it is not ‘cool’.
•Middle-class teens from two-parent homes have ample chance to connect with their parents.

New Expectations

•Prevention is a boy’s issue. If just targeted to girls, it is incomplete.
•Teenage boys will listen to a “wait until marriage” message if it is presented by guys they look up to as one of a series of life choices.
•Teens and parents from all backgrounds are looking for new ways to connect on the crucial issues of their lives.

Tips

1.Develop Common Interest with Your Sons: “Boys in our surveys say they want more time with their fathers. And they want dads to recognize their interests.”
2.Provide a Forum for Men to Get Involved with Youth: “Use your church or community sports activities for men to mentor boys, including those who don’t have a father at home. Retired men who have time can be very active.”
3.Support Single-Parent Families: “Offer seminars to single mothers and fathers who may need help in dealing with their children’s character development.”
4.Bring Parents and Teens Together: “Hold one-day events devoted to improving communication between parents and their kids.”

Amy Stephens, Manager, Youth Culture Division, Focus on the Family

Prenatal Health Strategy

Old Expectations

•Pregnant women’s partners are a barrier to a prenatal health strategy.
•The most effective approach for infant mortality prevention programs is to work with the mother.
•Drug-abusing men will not put a baby’s needs above their drug habits.

New Expectations

•Pregnant women’s partners are a key ally in a prenatal health strategy.
•The most effective approach to infant mortality prevention is to work with the mother and the father.
•Drug-abusing men are especially prone to change their habits when they feel needed by a baby.

Tips

1.Put Babies First: “Show them they are crucial to the baby’s future and the baby becomes crucial to their future.”
2.Jobs Are Essential: “Just to prepare them to be parents without jobs doesn’t do it.”
3.Staff Must Be Well Screened: “Look for people who have been in a relationship with a child, so he knows what it takes and can help somebody get there too. It doesn’t mean he has to be clean-cut. Some of my staff are recovering addicts.”
4.Create an Environment Conducive to Men: “If it’s an old building, find some new paint. And put up artwork that shows families with a father and child interacting.”

Joe Jones, Coordinator, Men’s Services Program

Fatherhood

Old Expectations

•High-school students - especially boys - are not interested in learning about fatherhood.
•There is no role for junior high schools in preparing teens for fatherhood.
•Teens cannot teach other teens about fatherhood; they don’t really know anything about it.

New Expectations

•High-school students - especially boys - are very eager to learn about fatherhood.
•Junior high schools are well situated to deliver a systematic curriculum on fatherhood.
•Young teens are eager to learn from older teens, and older teens take pride in the responsibility of guiding their peers.

Tips

1.Involve Youth: “You don’t do a curriculum for youth, you do it with youth.”
2.Stretch Your Thinking: “Combining child-support officials with sexuality educators with men’s advocates is unusual. But involving as many agencies as possible will stretch your thinking. Bring all the players to the table.”
3.Think Big: “Videos cost money. If you want kids to watch, don’t try to do a cheap one.”
4.Invest in an Evaluation: “We know people will want to see if this works. We set aside 10 percent of our budget for an evaluation.”